My Mortal
by XxLotusxX
Summary: First chapter is a songfic with My Immortal by Evanescence. Rin and Kohaku have both died, leaving behind a baby named Jun, and Sesshomaru wonders what he's feeling. Sesshomaru decides to be Jun's father after finaly realizing why he misses Rin so much.
1. Sesshoumaru's Feelings

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the characters.**

**Notes: This song is called "My Immortal" by Evanescence, and it's one of my all-time favorites. It makes me think of my dog, who I loved very much. Especially the part that says, "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, but though you're still with me, I've been alone all along." He did used to wipe away my tears, and when I screamed, his did come to see what was wrong. He didn't necessarily hold my hand, but he was by my side almost all of the time. I felt like i was going to die when we had to put him to sleep because of congestive heart failure. He was 16, and that's really old for a golden retriever mix. I have a new dog that looks almost exactly like him, and acts like him, too, but they're still not the same, and they never will be. That's the point of this story also. **

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_I'm so tired of being here...  
Suppressed by all my childish fears.  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave,  
'cause your presence still lingers here,  
and it won't leave me alone._

"Rin," a very distraught taiyoukai said to no one, "Why do I miss you so much? Why do I feel this way after your death? Is it that I'm feeling remorse? Sadness? Whatever this emotion is, it's slowly eating away at my heart, and making me feel strange. I feel as though I'll never live normally again, as though I'll die of this emotion."

_These wounds won't seem to heal,  
this pain is just too real,  
there's just too much that time can not erase._

Sesshomaru paced the floor in front of his bed, then sat down and put his chin in his hand to think. 'I know now, I realize why I'm upset of her death. It seems that she's so much of a daughter to me that I just feel sad because she died.' he thought, then said to himself aloud, "Heh... I remember all the times that you called for me, Rin. Why, just the other day you had called for my help while having Kohaku's child. And... I came. I always came when you called for me. And, even more recently, when you fell ill, I never left your side. You cried because the pain was so great, and I swept away your tears..."

_When you'd cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
I've held your hand through all of these years.  
You still have...  
All of me._

Sesshomaru smiled at the fond memories that ran through his mind at that moment. "From the moment I saw you, you left a permanent mark on me, Rin. You softened my heart and gave me the ability to feel. Your innocence seems to have rubbed off on me, and I feel no anger towards anyone anymore, with the exception of Naraku. Now, your smile saddens me greatly when I think about it, knowing that I'll never see that smile again."

_You used to captivate me,  
by you resonating light.  
I'm bound by the life you left behind.  
Your face... It haunts my once pleasant dreams.  
Your voice... It chased away all the sanity in me...  
These wounds won't seem to heal,  
this pain is just too real,  
there's just too much that time can not erase._

At that moment Jaken walked through the door and looked up at his Lord's figure sitting on his bed with his head down and his arms on his knees. "Lord Sesshomaru, her death upsets you doesn't it?"

He looked up and smiled sadly. "She was like a daughter to me, Jaken. I needed to protect her, I needed to nurture her, watch her grow..."

"But you did, my Lord. You saw her blossom into a beautiful young lady,"

"I felt as though if anyone should hurt her I would tear them to shreds, if anything were to scare her I would destroy it, and if anyone tried to take her hand from mine I would kill them." Sesshomaru continued as if Jaken hadn't said anything. "I just loved her so much. Do you understand?"

_When you'd cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
__When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
I've held your hand through all of these years.  
You still have...  
All of me._

Jaken left without another word and Sesshomaru looked out the window into the blue sky and whispered, "Rin, I really do miss you, and I really do love you, no matter how I acted when you were alive..."

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone...  
But though you're still with me,  
I've been alone all along._

He sighed and walked into the next room where Rin's daughter, Jun, lay peacefully sleeping. Kohaku had died in a battle before she was born. Sesshomaru gently picked her up and held her in his arms. She looked just like her mother... Black hair, dark as midnight, and big, brown eyes. She looked up at Sesshomaru and smiled, reaching for a strand of silver hair that had fallen in her wake. He moved his hand to move it away, but, instead, Jun reached for his hand with her small one and held on to one of his fingers. She yawned and Sesshomaru began to hum to her...

_When you'd cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
I've held your hand through all of these years.  
You still have...  
All of me._

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_**I've never tried to write a songfic before, so please go easy on it. You don't have to, just a suggestion. **


	2. The Storm

**Disclaimer: I only own Jun.**

**Notes: Most of my reviewers have asked for more chapters, so I'm making more chapters. Oh, and I found out that you spell his name like Sessho_u_maru. Without the u, it has no meaning. Until now, I didn't know that, so I changed the way I write his name.**

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"Jun, please don't play with that." Sesshoumaru said to the two-year-old that was tugging on Tenseiga.

"'K, Granddad!" she replied, skipping off to Jaken and pulling on his staff playfully.

"Stop that, you brazen spawn of Satan!" he yelled, trying unsuccessfully to retrieve it.

_'Now, where have I heard that before?'_ Sesshoumaru asked himself with a small smile.

Jun's vocabulary consisted of only a few words, the more amusing of which was her nickname for Jaken, "Midget froggy-man." She only came up to Sesshoumaru's knee and was hard to catch when given anything sweet. Her favorite things to do included kicking Jaken and running, talking excessively in gibberish, and giving Sesshoumaru the puppy-eyes to get what she wants. Being a taiyoukai, he hadn't even aged since he first met Rin. He still had the appearance of a 19, 20, or 21 year old.

That night, after an exhausting day playing tag with a hyperactive two year old, Sesshoumaru put Jun to bed, walked into his room across the hall, and flopped down on his stomach with his face in the pillow. _'That girl is going to kill me...' _Sesshoumaru thought. He smirked at the thought of him being killed by a two year old girl.

Jun sat in her bed, staring out the window at the ominous clouds in the darkened sky outside. She hopped down and skipped to the balcony happily, leaning over the edge to look up higher. A drop of rain fell on her face and she heard a distant rumble of thunder.

Jun looked warily up at the sky again and ran out her door and across the hall. She stood on her toes to reach the doorknob and pulled, falling forward as it opened. Sesshoumaru looked at her, surprised, and asked if she was okay. In answer, Jun ran to him and said, "Granddad, come here,"

She grabbed his hand and urged him to follow her into her room. Jun pointed to her balcony. "Close it?" she offered.

Sesshoumaru sighed and closed the sliding door. "Are you going to go to sleep now, Jun?" he asked.

She nodded and climbed up into her bed and under the covers, then held out her arms to him. Understanding, Sesshoumaru walked over to her and knelt down to give her a hug. He kissed her on the cheek making her giggle as he walked out and back to his room. "'Night, Granddad."

"Goodnight, Jun." Sesshoumaru replied, shutting off the light and closing her door.

Sesshoumaru left his door opened, just in case, then took of his armor and put on a sleeping kimono, climbing into his bed and closing his golden eyes. No sooner had he done so than he heard a loud clap of thunder and a scream, then he saw Jun run into his room and jump into his bed.

She cuddled up closed to his chest and muttered, "Scary..."

Sesshoumaru looked down at her cowering in his arms. "Jun, it's only thunder."

She looked up at him questioningly. Never had she known what it was, or heard it so close before. "Thunder?"

He nodded. He saw that she still looked skeptical, so he decided to tell her what his father had told him, and what he had told Rin. "My father used to tell me that thunder was the gods jumping up and down because they're happy."

"Why?" asked a giggling Jun.

"Because..." Sesshoumaru began, trying to remember, but he was never told why. "I don't know, Jun, but maybe it's because it's spring, and lots of children were born in spring, so they're happy for all the children. You were born in the spring,"

"But... Scary..." Jun said, cuddling closer and whimpering at another sudden clap of thunder.

Sesshoumaru was unfazed by the noise and instead took Jun into his arms and carried her to her room. He opened the sliding door to the balcony and went out, still holding her close. He swung his legs over the railing and sat there. If it weren't for the fact that he was a great youkai and had an excellent sense of balance, he would have surely fallen off. Yet he sat there as if it were merely a chair, with a child in his arms, no less.

"You see, Jun, thunder is only the aftermath of lightning."

"What is lightning?" she asked.

As if on cue, a brilliant flash of blue cut across the sky, illuminating everything in its path and beyond. "That's lightning," Sesshoumaru said, "It is nothing but light. Hence the name,"

A rumble of thunder followed, but Jun didn't seem scared anymore. "It's pretty,"

"Yes, dangerous beauty. Lightning has been known to set things on fire,"

Jun did know what fire was. In the winter, Jaken or one of the other hundreds of servants would always light a large fire in the foyer, and it would warm the whole castle. "Why?" she asked again.

"Because it's hot. When the heat from the lightning touches something else, it will be completely consumed,"

"Wow..." Jun marveled at her grandfather's wisdom.

They watched the storm a little longer, then Jun yawned and stretched in Sesshoumaru's arms. "Are you tired?" he asked. She nodded. "Well, then go to bed."

Jun smiled as he put her down and got off the railing of her balcony. She ran to her bed and literally jumped in. "Goodnight," Sesshoumaru said, walking out the door and leaving it open. He laid back down in his bed and sighed. "Jun, do you ever go to sleep?" he asked the shadowy silhouette standing by his bedside.

She giggled and cuddled up close to his chest again. "Sometimes," she answered cutely, then asked with puppy eyes, "Can I sleep here?"

Sesshoumaru practically melted to see those eyes once more. When he looked at Jun, all he saw was her mother. Even though Sesshoumaru didn't know Rin when she was two, Jun still looked like her. The only traits that she got from Kohaku were the freckles. He looked into those big, watery, brown eyes and caved. "Just this once, Jun, okay?"

She nodded happily. "Okay!"

When Sesshoumaru woke up in the morning, Jun was still curled up beside him. Her angelic face glowed in the early morning sunlight. It suddenly got brighter, making her wake up. She said good morning to Sesshoumaru and hopped out of bed after him. "Jun, come here, you're going to like this even more than the lightning,"

She ran over to him and held on to his leg, wary, then she saw what he meant. "Whoa, that's prettier."

"I knew you'd like it, your mother always did."

Jun laughed and looked back up into the sky at the beautiful arch of colors that hung there. A rainbow after the storm.


End file.
